A Joyful Happening in the House Chapter 3

Translated+Edited: Akiha

Chapter 3

The Su family that operates the convenience store is weird.

It is difficult to describe in exact how weird they are.

The Su family’s mother with a feather duster in her hand controls the family’s finance, politics, diploma and so forth. At times, she exerted her symbol of power – a feather duster, to undergo inhumane violence and tyranny on the family.

Compared to the domineering Mother Su, the Su family’s father is the signature model husband; it’s just his demeanour as a role model is overboard. He lacks masculinity as he accepted everything without any complains. He went working to support the family, and when he returned from work he begin to do house chores. Whenever women are talking, he won’t ever cut in and he always inform about his privacy and whereabouts. He slept late and wakes up early. He does not chat with women in his workplace and when he’s off work he immediately climb back home. Has no account in bank nor secret stash of money in his pocket. Reports when he’s out for a drink and stay in the toilet when he smokes.

His position in the family is so low that outsiders can’t bear to see it anymore. They always felt anger at him for not trying to get his power, sad at him for not able to re-educate him. In a hundred square feet house, his only land is the three square feet toilet and yet it was always invaded. With such a lowly position in the family, he still did not attempt any revolutions within the household; his masculinity being devoured and obliterated.

But Father Su just never learns. He did not care about regaining the power as a man and still hides in the toilet counting his days.

With such an environment, the nature of the children developed from this sort of household can be deduced.

“Damn it, I already tell you to stop crying. Sob, sob, sob, what are you sobbing for! No matter the situation, this great me will cover you up! It’s only just some money, it’s not like I can’t make them, tsk!”

A rough and loud voice talking to the phone can be heard from the passageway. The one creating all these noises has no moral to speak of; the loud, low voice that disturbs the peace of others still sounded.

“I’m warning you, if you dare to cover up for that bastard, I will go and wring his head off and kick it like a ball. That sonova witch that ran away without taking responsibility. You better keep those toys properly, let’s test it out tonight to see if it works or not!”

“Scare, scare, scare. What are you scared of! Why are you not scared when you played with fire! Don’t dilly-dally!”

“Aiyo, don’t worry. The worst my mother will do is only teaching me a lesson, and it’s not the first time I robbed my house’s convenience store! Alright, that’s all. Just sleep early and don’t think about it too much!”

When she finished her sentence, she quickly cut the call and sneakily squat down. All the power she had earlier disappeared into thin air and like a thief, she arched her back as she opened her own house’s door. Quickly entering, she removed her shoe. When she was about to sneak into her own room, a feather duster can be seen sweeping swiftly from the left side. Moving her head back, she barely dodged it; but her mother did not hold back this time. As if she’s going to get rid of the ungrateful bastard, she used two feather dusters. Before she can balance herself, a great pain can be felt on the right side of her butt.

“Ouch! Mamma mia!”[1]

“Su Jia Ao! So you still know that I’m your mother! Robbing your family’s convenience store for those delinquents. Look at you, with such a tattered appearance, make-ups that look like you’re selling dyes! Are you seeking death!”

“What! This is what we called trend! You won’t know anything about being feminine!”

“You’re saying your mother is not feminine? Even your father doesn’t dare to say that to me. Are you rebelling!”

“What would dad know about femininity! He even found women oozing with femininity when they are fighting! Don’t you force all those sissy tribal rules that reverse the common sense onto a normal human like me! Chi! Is there even a man that will protect their chastity and is obedient! Still talking about nonsense like female domineering over the male; talking about obeying the mother as a bachelor, obeying the wife as a husband, and obeying the daughter after the wife passed away! If you tell it to others they will for sure lock you up in the asylum!”

“Have the wings of you debt collector went hard? Dared to refute to your mother!” And another round of spanking.

“It’s true! If not for you, why is it that no men want me. Is there even a man willing to marry into the woman’s family!” She hold onto her butt and rolled around.

“A rule is a rule. And that’s the rule of our Dong Nu Tribe. So as long you’re hanging out with those delinquents, it is a matter of fact that you will never get any good man! Every one of them treated women like clothing – throwing them away as soon as they are done with them. If they are sincere, there’s no reason they are not willing to marry into our family!”

Oh! Here it begins once again. Every time the mother and daughter argued, they will always end up with this question that’s been asked for a millennium. She was getting tired of arguing with her parents that had loose screws in their head. What Dong Nu Tribe, what female family naming and matriarchy, what revering women as the leader, daughters come first and men need to be married into the women’s family. Ptooey! Do they think that they are living in the Kingdom of Females. Her family is not wealthy at all. With such a dreadful condition, any men would be so scared that they will run away! No wonder her underlings gambled jokingly saying it would be difficult for her to even find a man.

Chi, she doesn’t want to care about what her mother talked about. If there’s an order above, there will be a way out at the bottom. She won’t listen obediently to her mother’s arrangement. Until she had enough savings, she will for sure get away from these freaky rules that are passed on from generations to generations.

Disregarding the fact she will not be able to find a man that is willing to marry into her family, even if she found them, she will still want to run away. Just thinking about it made her sweated profusely. For her whole life, she’s been watching how stifling her father’s life was and because of that, she’s traumatized by sissies. Can they still be considered a man if they have no charm, not powerful, not masculine, not over-bearing enough, not alluring, and not bad enough?

Look at Xiao Yao Jing, he is the epitome of masculinity, the best among the best men ever. Being innocent, maintain their purity, and still clean? Ptooey! What type of men would need any of that in this time and age. If she had those as a standard to search for a man, it will be a wonder if she did not become an old virgin! Although her confession today failed, she still has a lot of time left. As long as she is able to master the Three Obediences and Four Virtues, she will still have a good future ahead of her.

Su Jia Ao massaged her butt that was treated by domestic violence as she walked into the living room.

“Eh? Why are you not arguing with me today?” The mother that was used to her daughter’s challenge felt extraordinarily uncomfortable when she stopped arguing that quickly.

“What for? It’s not like just by arguing with you there will be a man that fall from the sky that will marry into our house.” She rolled her eyes that looked heartbroken at her mother. The sadness within her eyes was deep.

“It has already fallen.”

“Are you talking about my father? It’s enough to have one product like him!” She thought her mother was joking around with her and raised her leg to kick the toilet door by the side and yelled, “Dad, are you feeling frustrated in the toilet again?”

There were no reply from the toilet, but the door has no intention to be opened. On the other hand, it was her mother that began speaking.

“It really has fallen! He was called….. called….. Ji Chun Qing![2] That’s right! It’s Ji Chun Qing! Aiyo, just listen to how nice his name sounds. It’s obvious that he’s a man from good upbringing. Aiyo, he’s also pure, kind, and from a proper household and is good-looking with smooth skin. What a great fortune you had cultivated in your past life, you debt collector!”

“What nonsense are you talking about?” She blinked her eyes and did not understand what her mother is going on and on about, “What Ji Chun Qing? I’m even committing debauchery. Go away, I’m not in the mood to joke around with you. I’m going to take a bath and sleep!”

“What debauchery! His name is Chun Qing, it’s Chun Qing! The ‘Chun’ from the word ‘Pure’ and the ‘Qing’ from the word ‘Estrus’!”

“Oh, so he’s in estruses purely? Then I shall sleep elegantly!”

“It’s true! This is a marriage arranged by your grandmother in the tribe when she’s still alive. There, the silver phoenix bracelet on your hand is the promised artefact!” Seeing that she’s not believing her, mother then raised her hand to show the evidence on her hand, telling her that all the evidences are there, “They have now came searching to this house and are asking for you to take responsibility over it! Let me tell you, the women in the Su family are always responsible over their actions and so, I won’t allow you to throw him aside just like that and ruin his chastity, causing him to be on a bad position. Do you hear me!”

Oh yeah, she did resolvedly say that she had a marriage arranged for her by her family earlier and now her grandmother lying below the ground had the same thoughts that she did?

“I’m lazy to talk to you anymore, just keep on bluffing. We did not go back to the tribe for more than ten years. Not knowing even our relatives, is a marriage even possible? If not due to the fact that I’m unable to remove this darn bracelet, do you think I really wanted to wear it? It is so lame it completely obstructed me from releasing my modern female charm! There will not be any man that’s willing to marry into the women’s family nowadays! Just give up!” She took back her hand and did not bother about it. As she was walking, she began to unbuckle her pants and kicked open the living room’s door. As she yawned, she pulled her pants off and boldly shook it off. In her underwear, she walked from the living room and into the kitchen. While humming, she began to gulp the milk down.

As she was gulping half way, suddenly, someone kindly handed her the pants she had stepped on the ground earlier from behind her.

She rolled her eyes and pushed it away impatiently: “Mom, when did you become this shrewd. I always run around the house with only my underwear!”

“I’m still not used to ladies not wearing their pants, so……”

“Puu!” The voice from a man who is a stranger caused her to create a fountain of milk. She quickly turned her head to the back and saw a very familiar face that is now burning red. The timid and clear black pupils filled with shyness looked at the other side clumsily and only raised his hands to hand her the pants that she removed earlier……

She immediately threw the milk bottle aside and moved to the back of the fridge door as the hugged her own stomach while screaming: “My goodness!! Where did this rogue came from, why did you come to my house and peeked at me changing my clothes! Right after taking advantage of me and putting on the little wife expression right after, don’t make it looks like I’m the one who bullied you! Mom, hurry and take out your feather duster and whack him, whack him!”

“Aiyo, whack for what? It’s alright to let him see since he’s going to be yours soon. Is there even any advantage to be taken!” The Mother Su that had come hurriedly did not appear to be agitated like usual but instead she was smiling brightly. While taking over the pants, she looked at him in detail, completely forgetting the fact that she needs to let her daughter wear the pants.

The more the mother looked at her son-in-law, the more the satisfaction she felt. This is not a lie. Look at those soft brows, lashes and eyes, and also the smooth hair that falls naturally onto his shoulder. An indescribable traditional aura can be felt from him. What he had on him is not the tribe’s male costume but a simple shirt and long pants, and it had still made his body look beautiful, tall and lean, his temperament shows elegance and purity.

Mmn, men should be like this. They look cute when they appear to be shy in front of the ladies! What type of beast are they if they pounce onto ladies like hungry wolf and calling it masculine!

“Xiao Ao[3], greet him. He was the Ji Chun Qing that I told you about! Your grandmother had arranged a great partner for you!”

“Like I care if he’s in estrum debauchedly or in estrum purely, just give me back my pants first!”

“Aiyo, Chun Qing is not even feeling shy about this, what are feeling you shy for!”

“Are you saying that compared to me, he has more right to feel shy?” What kind of world is this; if a woman was seen not wearing any pants by a man, the one that should feel shy would be the man?

“Great mother-in-law, you should allow Dear Wife to wear her pants first.” The shy man opened his mouth and gentle voice reverberated in the room.

“Dear…… Dear Wife?” What’s with this title that sounds similar to Dear Husband[4]? Before she can end things with her weird family, it will now be developed greatly in her palm? She doesn’t want that! “Who’s your Dear Wife. No way, no way, I don’t want a man to marry into my house!”

“Son-in-law, just from your ‘great mother-in-law’, I will never allow this debt collector to hold up your future. Aiyo, look at your small face and small body frame, it is really likeable. I’ve decided, let’s pick a day and have the both of you to complete your marriage!”

“I appreciate great mother-in-law’s blessing. But before we get married, Dear Wife still needs to wear…… her pants……”

“What are you thanking for. If she blessed you, who will bless me. I don’t want; I don’t want to marry a man into my house! I want to end this weird family tragedy; I like men who are masculine!”

“You debt collector, with a man as beautiful and with good body shape like Chun Qing, what more are you asking for. Do you think that with your attitude, you will get to find a man more beautiful than him? Hmph, ungrateful kid!”

“What use is being beautiful, a man who is not masculine…. Uuu…. Mom, my butt feels cold…… can you please give me back my pants before you begin your nonsense?”

“Ai, you brainless failure of a daughter. What are you doing hiding into the fridge not wearing your pants. Your butt is becoming red from the cold air, hurry and wear your pants! It’s okay to run around in nudes in front of your man, but don’t humiliate yourself out there! Ai, luckily he tolerates you, or not, what will be of you!” After saying so, the pants in her hands were thrown onto the floor, like rubbish by the road side.

Please understand who was the one enjoying the man in front of her while arranging the marriage ceremony and holding onto her pants!

Su Jia Ao massaged her butt that was beaten and later frozen and walked out from behind the fridge’s door. Exasperatedly staring at the harmless and innocent face of the pure and beautiful man that appeared to be shy and timid, but at the same time was in sync with mother’s weird thoughts.

Is this what is referred to as a causal cycle, a retribution; due to the nonsense uttered, a karma was created and there must exist casualties? She and her big mouth. Of all the things she could’ve said, she just have to say that she had a marriage arranged for her. And now great, showing his benevolence, the God listened to her wish and made in come true.

Damn it, who wants to marry this man who was so pure that estruses happened as a husband? Is her love that cheap? To the point it will be fine no matter who it is? Forcing a man that was unable to marry into her arms? She doesn’t need a man’s chastity! She wants to cancel, cancel, cancel the engagement! This marriage is absolutely a mistake. She wants to break through this family with traditional thought, break open the chain of female domineering the male; break through this freaky cage and praise that both men and women are equal, sending her love out to the world!

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[1] The closest would be screaming “my God” in pain. But it doesn’t work here so due to the pun later on so I keep it to its original text (although it sounds weird)

[2] To make sure it won’t get confusing from this point onwards, his name 季淳卿 Ji Chun Qing sounds almost the same as 纯情 Chun Qing (different tone), which means pure-hearted. When the words are separated, it meant ‘Pure’ and ‘Feeling’ (when paired with different word, it will speak of different feelings) respectively, thus the upcoming puns and play of words.

[3] 小 Xiao, an intimate way of calling someone

[4] Original text: 妻君 Qi Jun, Dear Wife and 夫君 Fu Jun, Dear Husband. It’s a very respectful way to call their spouse. Dear Wife is something the author altered, so the real existing one is Fu Jun/Dear Husband

Akiha: And now, to share the destructiveness of JCQ, this is how he was portrayed in manhua adaptation~ I totally forgot how destructive he was till I search for him

Image result for 天降贤淑男 季淳卿

And this is JCQ and XYJ featuring in the same cover~

Image result for 天降贤淑男

And a SJA~

Image result for 天降贤淑男

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